Today, I’m sharing an epic post about the 6 mindsets to take you from frumpy to fit.
This post addresses the unspoken block that many of us have . . . and the true reason we are not able to get our weight off – even though we’re doing everything right.
This post is packed with content that other health and fitness people make you pay them hundreds and thousands of dollars for (or they never discuss it all, leaving you to a life of yo-yo dieting).
You can’t afford to miss out on any of this content because it’s rarely talked about by anyone in the weight-loss industry- so read to the end for the 6 mindsets to go from frumpy to fit…and effortlessly get skinnier and sexier.
Is this you?
Do you ever ask yourself, “What am I doing wrong?”
- You’re a yo-yo dieter – you keep losing weight and putting it back on
- You’ve hit a plateau and just can’t get below a certain weight, even though you’ve been eating right and exercising
- You have uncontrollable cravings that take over your mind and lead you to the freezer like a vampire has invaded your body looking for Haagen Dazs caramel cone ice cream
What is it that other people have figured out that you haven’t?
What if you discovered how to effortlessly lose the weight?
Now imagine that you finally learned the secret to losing weight WITHOUT it being depriving and torturous.
You move more confidently, without worrying about your thighs jiggling. You actually LIKE browsing through your closet. You smile to yourself as you imagine wearing every smart-looking pants suit and beautiful fitting top. Your wardrobe is sexy and fun instead of an anxiety-trigger of what you can’t wear. Now YOU get to know what this feels like!
I have the answer to effortless weight-loss
Weight-loss starts with your MIND.
When I changed my mindset, I got to the lowest weight in my entire life – a weight I physically did not think was possible for me to reach. And now, I wear bikinis, crop tops and tank tops every chance I can (and I have 2 kids and I’m 38)!
In fact, studies show that mindset has a big impact on weight loss. People who ate more mindfully and consciously were able to lose weight.
I’m going to crack the code for you by uncovering the 6 mind-blowing mindsets to effortlessly take you from frumpy to fit including:
- The mindset to finally get back into those fitted jeans. . .and stay in them
- The mindset to instantly make you stop craving a cookie
- WHY you keep self-sabotaging your weight-loss – and the mindset to adopt so you stop this
When you DON’T address your mindset. . .you BLOCK yourself from weight-loss.
After working with dozens of clients, I’ve identified 6 weight loss mindset shifts that help women lose more weight than they’ve ever thought was possible for them and go from grumpy to fit. Here are some examples of what’s possible for you too:
Tree seeing her belly flatten and fit into jeans after 3 years of feeling uncomfortable – because she finally got the mindset and structure to get there.
Louise dropping 10 pounds in 8 weeks and feels lighter and sexier than she had in 13 years.
My client Mona became a sexy youthful mom AFTER having 2 small kids AND a full-time job as a communications executive in NYC. . . and constantly hears everyone gasp, “I can’t believe you have kids!”
I’ll let you in on exactly how to get this mind-blowing weight-loss too
Today I am going to share the 6 mindsets that held my private 1:1 clients and myself back from getting sexier and slimmer for years. . .and how we changed our THINKING to effortlessly lose weight.
You KNOW the foods to eat. You know how to exercise. But there’s something that’s STOPPING you from doing it. Once you address your mindset, you clear the barriers that are putting a big red octagon shaped “STOP!” sign on your dreams for a fit and sexier body.
Get ready to be surprised.
As I go over the following mindsets, identify which ones you don’t currently adopt. Which mindsets do you not have, and as a result are holding you back? Name it out loud and even write it down.
I want you to pick ONE mindset that you identify with the most – the one you know you need. I’m going to explain exactly the way you need to think to effortlessly lose weight, so adopt this mindset.
And once you do this, plan to start seeing the inches and centimeters melt off (from your belly, arms and back and more)!
You can go from frumpy to fit. I did.
Weight Loss Mindset #1: You can live at a new normal
I genuinely thought I was unable to lose weight past a certain scale number. I thought it was just in my genetics – that I was big-boned.
I would work out intensely, eat hardly anything, feel miserable and still only get to a certain weight. And that weight wasn’t even one I was really happy with! But it was so awful just getting there that I thought it was my limit.
It was almost impossible to maintain if I wanted to have a life and I lived my life never expecting anything better for myself.
I used to think, “If I had a flabby belly at 25 years old, how was I EVER going to get rid of my even FLABBIER belly at 35 – and after 2 kids?”
Along the way, my husband would tell me, you might naturally start sitting at 10 pounds lower. And I would look at him like he was a crazy lunatic. I knew how hard I had to work before just to get to the lowest weight I thought was possible for me, and I couldn’t imagine ever getting lower.
It’s not always about trying harder
Sometimes it’s about trying something different. I changed what I was eating and created a system of making eating easy and something I didn’t think about as much – it became mindless to eat healthy. . .and my weight fell off.
I couldn’t believe it when I blew past my previous limit. I now easily live 15 pounds below what I thought was my absolute lowest possible weight – and I did it easily instead of feeling miserable. It became my new normal.
What’s the limit you have for yourself?
Is it a weight you think you can’t pass, a size you think you’ll never get below, or an outfit you think you’ll never wear?
Your Mind-Blowing Mindset Shift: Action Step #1
Go with the flow and just keep working on getting healthier and losing weight. You just might find a new normal for yourself that’s beyond your wildest dreams.
Weight Loss Mindset #2 You don’t have to do alone
You don’t have to be a recluse to lose weight.
One of my clients told me about being in school as a child, when all of the kids would open their lunches and EVERYONE would share. It was a sweet, comforting feeling to be part of this routine every day.
BONUS: This study talk about how contagious weight-loss can be in a community
It was like having a little holiday every day where everyone “broke bread” together. We’re naturally hardwired to enjoy eating with other people. That’s why so many of our holidays revolve around special food dishes. Family members and friends come from all over, essentially just to eat together.
That experience stood out in her memory as a happy one.
It built sentimental connections with sweet food in her mind. When she tried to get healthy, she was very focused and disciplined – and she started doing a lot of it on her own.
Once she lost 15 pounds, she hit a plateau. We tried to figure out what was happening but it was only after months of digging deep and understanding what was happening that she realized she felt lonely in her weight-loss journey.
The way she grew up was so different from the way she was living now – and unconsciously it wasn’t making her happy. So she would sneak sugar and sabotage herself.
After becoming aware of what was holding her back – she turned her whole approach around. She started going to workouts in NY at Soul Cycle, and she would invite a few friends from her work. Pretty soon, her whole team had made it a weekly ritual to go to spin class – even her boss! They even left early together to do it!
She also started doing other fun activities that did not revolve around eating like planning an Art & Wine night with her girlfriends. She started including others in her journey and it became so much more fun – and she loved sharing her lifestyle with others. And they enjoyed it too!
She’s lost over 30 pounds now!
First she had to learn what foods to eat. Then, once she uncovered the mindset to involve others in her journey – she overcame the plateau she had been stuck at for so long.
It actually makes it faster and more sustainable to lose weight with a partner or community – because it’s fun! When you can bounce ideas off of someone, get encouragement when you’re feeling low and get pats on the back when you’re doing well, it’s way more enjoyable losing weight.
You get to interact with people and work toward something together.
If you’re able to lose weight with your husband or partner at home, it can be so nice to come home, eat healthy food together and both of you are on a journey together. On the weekends, you can do fun activities together.
You can also do it with another community like someone at work who wants to slim down too, or even through an online community where you can encourage each other and share success stories.
Your Mind-Blowing Mindset Shift: Action Step #2
What’s one small thing you can do to share your journey with someone else?
You don’t have to share the entire journey, but even small parts of it make your weight-loss so much more enjoyable.
- Can you ask your partner if s/he would want to do it with you?
- Can you host a dinner party and make some healthy food you’ve been making that taste great (use my free recipe book!)?
- Can you join an online community where you can post pictures of what you’re eating and see what others are doing?
- Can you find a fun spin or other fitness class and invite a group to attend?
Those are a few ideas of how you can share even small parts of your weight-loss with others – and make it fun and community-oriented.
Weight Loss Mindset #3: You’re not depriving yourself of a cookie – you’re stopping yourself from feeling bad
How great do you feel after eating a filling, nutritious salad? How about a dish like garlic chicken & spinach with a side of quinoa?
Your body feels light, strong and nourished.
What about after eating 5 cookies or a bowl of pasta? You feel good for about 30 seconds and immediately after you feel sluggish, heavy and tired.
We feel like we need to “treat ourselves.” And we think treating ourselves is eating heavy or sugary food. We’re used to the quick high we get from eating sweet, buttery pastries or indulgently creamy sauces.
We’re also used to how good it’s SUPPOSED to be to have a cookie or a cake. But it actually doesn’t always even taste that good – and more often than not, it makes us feel worse.
After that initial high, your body has to scramble to balance itself back out again.
It’s hard on you. When you think about it, it’s a lot like an addict getting a hit of whatever drug they’re hooked on and then dealing with withdrawal and other symptoms afterwards.
You’re abusing your body by eating foods that make you feel bad.
If you want to be good to your body keep it full with nutritious foods. I promise you, in the long run you’ll feel so much better.
Your Mind-Blowing Mindset Shift: Action Step #3
The next time you look at a cookie, instead of thinking, I’ll be depriving myself of pleasure if I don’t eat it”, think, “I’ll be depriving myself of feeling good if I do eat it.”
You show your body love by giving it the foods that make it feel vibrant.
Weight Loss Mindset #4: You have permission to lose the weight
One of my clients felt guilty because her husband would have to watch her daughter when she was in the kitchen preparing food. She felt like she was putting a burden on him, and she also feared he might put on a cartoon like Paw Patrol or let her watch her iPad.
She let that stop her from taking the time she needed to prepare herself healthy meals for the week on Sunday – and she wasn’t losing much weight.
Sometimes, we have to just let go. Everything won’t be exactly as you do it, and that’s ok. You will have your time – you don’t have to have things the way you would do it ALL the time.
Sometimes letting others support us is also incredibly challenging because we as women do not put ourselves first. We think everyone else will not understand and we feel guilty taking the time to do things for ourselves.
You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others in your life the way they deserve to be taken care of. Giving yourself the permission to do that is what you must do as the first step.
Your Mind-Blowing Mindset Shift: Action Step #4
Here are some examples of giving yourself permission to lose weight.
- You CAN let others handle things so you can focus on yourself
- Your husband can take care of the kids while you prep food
- You can say no to friends and family once in awhile because you want to get organized and set up your week
- You can hire someone to do your dishes and laundry so you can spend your free time doing anything except cleaning up after others
- You can spend a little extra money to buy the pre-chopped vegetables because you know you will actually use those
- You can decide you don’t want to advance in your career on lighting fast speed this moment because you want to take care of yourself right now
Those things are ok. Your health is at stake here. Your energy and confidence every moment of your day is what you’re fighting for.
You have permission to start living a healthier lifestyle. I give you that permission right now.
What are ways that you can let go and let yourself focus on you?
Weight Loss Mindset #5: You’re not being controlled by being healthy – you are IN CONTROL
Don’t feel controlled, feel in control
By choosing what we eat, sometimes it can feel like we’re being controlled by the decisions we should make. It feels like following restrictive rules and things we can’t and shouldn’t do or have.
You’ve thought, “I shouldn’t have ice cream, I shouldn’t eat pizza, I shouldn’t snack on this bread before my entrée gets here, I shouldn’t have an extra slice of birthday cake.”
One of my clients felt powerless, and like having to make healthy decisions was controlling her.
This might stem from a childhood memory, where she was always told what to do, or told she wasn’t good enough. She was unconsciously trying to assert her independence and rebel from it. She started feeling like eating healthy was another form of control – like she HAD to do it to reach her goal of a fit body. She would lose weight, but then she would sabotage herself and start eating again. Sugar, brownies, cupcakes and more, trying to rebel and wrangle out of this feeling of control.
We finally identified together that she was feeling a sense of powerlessness by eating healthy – by feeling like it was a rule she had to follow. Just this NAMING of her enemy made what was happening so clear. Now, she could consciously realize WHY she was sabotaging herself.
That feeling didn’t serve her in getting healthier, and she knew losing weight was the goal she wanted to achieve. Being conscious of what was holding her back cleared the path for her to get skinnier and sexier – and boy she did! She lost 15% body fat and her abs even started showing for the first time in her life.
We feel out of control of our choices, our bodies, our power.
When you make choices that are healthy for you, you have MORE control over how your body looks and feels. The feeling of being controlled and powerless doesn’t serve you – so you can choose to not feel it. Flip that feeling around and be the boss of it!
I look at this as a challenge. I feel like the whole world is trying to get me to eat food that’s going to make me fat and tired. This is most pronounced when I’m at the airport while traveling.
Everywhere I turn, there’s an “Anne’s Pretzels” or a Godiva Chocolate Shop or a delicious looking Mexican restaurant. I feel like everyone out there has NO IDEA what it takes to live at a low weight. And I want to keep doing it. So I pride myself in bringing my own food, or going to a salad bar and loading up on healthy and filling ingredients. I look around at others stuffing their faces and feel so bad for them.
I HAVE control over my body and I love feeling light and slim and fitting comfortably into jeans and fitted dresses. No one’s going to take that away from me!
Your Mind-Blowing Mindset Shift: Action Steps #5
- If you feel like you’re being controlled by eating healthy, look at eating healthy as a challenge
- Look at everyone around you and how they’re trying to stuff unhealthy food down your throat
- Look at how IN CONTROL you are when you make the healthy choice. Be the rebel and eat HEALTHY. And you WILL see your belly flatten, your legs get leaner, and your arms tone up. Believe me
Weight Loss Mindset #6: You are sexy, attractive and gorgeous RIGHT NOW
You don’t have to wait on losing weight to feel beautiful, or wear unfashionable clothes that make you look frumpy and like you don’t care about yourself. You are beautiful right now.
When you wait on feeling good and looking good, you start feeling used to that. And it doesn’t propel you to lose weight. I want you to be happy about where you are today, right this moment, and dress up for yourself, do nice things for yourself now!
When you put effort into looking nice right now and doing nice things for yourself, you send a signal to your brain that you deserve to look good. Getting an emotional boost like this can motivate you and give you a huge confidence boost. You feel good and it makes you want to always feel that way.
Not sure where to start or how to dress while losing weight? I have some ideas for you!
Here’s 6 suggestions of what you can do to FEEL sexy and attractive. And you’ll be surprised at how people notice and comment on you looking great. This will open the door to you experiencing the rush of feeling great about yourself – and you just might start taking more steps to knock that weight right off your body.
Your Mind-Blowing Mindset Shift: 6 Action Steps
- Buy a cute new top
- Buy a beautiful necklace to dress up your outfit
- Buy some sexy new shoes
- Get your hair highlighted
- Go get a massage
- Get a mani and pedi and get a sparkle design on your ring fingers (it makes you feel SO special)!
It’s not just about what goes into your mouth, it’s about what goes on in your mind.
Once you realize that you have control over your body and it’s NOT all up to genetics, you CAN change what you see in the mirror. You HAVE the power to take control of your mind and body and the food that nourishes them. Only then you can take steps toward getting where you want to be.
Having the ability to step back and recognize unhealthy patterns empowers you to stop them dead in their tracks.
Those are my 6 Mind-Blowing Mindsets. I would love for you to comment below to let me know if these resonated with you and which one you need to adopt to start seeing the weight-loss.
Here is a final recap of the 6 Mind-Blowing Myths to Effortlessly Get You Skinnier and Sexier.
Mindset #1: You can live at a new normal
Mindset #2: You don’t have to do it alone
Mindset #3: You’re not depriving yourself of a cookie – you’re depriving yourself of feeling good
Mindset #4: You have permission to lose the weight
Mindset #5: You are IN CONTROL – You’re not being controlled by being healthy
Mindset #6: You are sexy, attractive and gorgeous RIGHT NOW
Which 1 mindset can you adopt today to help you open yourself up to go from frumpy to fit? Comment below!
Excellent advice Nagina! I’m personally a big fashion freak and as I was reading this, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between a “fashion” mindset, and weight loss mindset. Both fall under the umbrella of body image, but appear to be separate worlds in the media. In many ways, the goals are similar: I want to look and feel AMAZING everyday! I’m learning to love working out myself and I was thinking that it might be interesting to try and mash the two: using fashion as a tool to promote a healthy habits and body image, and thus a more healthy body.Has this ever come to mind to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Mariko, I love your comment. I totally agree, that fashion and weight-loss are interwoven, as many of us really want to fit into our clothes and feel sexy and cute in them! Thanks for sharing!